More Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris
2. The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris
3. Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow
4. Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.
5. When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
6. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
7. Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead
8. Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face
9. Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on
10. When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul
11. Love doesn't hurt. Chuck Norris does.
12. There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris
13. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
14. Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
15. Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
16. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
17. Chuck Norris does not know about this blog. If he did he would have just deleted the internet