Im breaking elrancho rules... its a LONG & deep post.. it makes up for my lack of posting of late :)

As you may have heard, the biggest massacre in American history occurred yesterday morning at Virginia tech university. A guy got into a fight with his girlfriend in the dorms and when the R.A. overheard shouting he went to the room to help. The guy shot his girlfriend and the R.A. before disappearing for the next 2 hours. He then went to a building on the other side of campus where he started shooting professors and students. He chained the classrooms closed and went on a rampage. Students even jumped out of 4th floor windows to try and escape. After going into 5 or 6 classrooms, killing 33 people and wounding over 20 more, he shot himself.

Even though this tragedy happened on a different campus, I can’t even explain to you the somber feeling that is being felt across my campus, and I'm sure every other campus across the country. People are on edge. No one wanted to go to class today. No one wanted to be on campus at all. Its 3 days away from the anniversary of columbine shootings, and there was another bomb scare at a Texas campus today. I've been warned that these kinds of school shootings always attract copy cats on different campuses and to be on full alert.

Anytime someone walked into a classroom today the whole class turned and got ready to react, it’s an eerie feeling. We were all trying to figure out our escape options if something happened, only to realise we had no way out. Our classrooms don’t have windows and the chairs and tables are bolted to the ground, leaving no room for us to take cover under them. Knowing we have no way to protect ourselves is a really scary thing. I even took my pepper spray to school, and later found out I wasn’t the only one to make sure it was packed this morning... even though we knew we couldn’t have done anything with it if someone started shooting, we needed to feel like we had some kind of protection.

I was listening to the radio this morning and one thing that caught my ear was a guy saying "how much of our freedom are we prepared to give up for our safety?" We could have to deal with metal detectors every time we walk into the school building to make sure no guns get through, except who wants to live like that? No one wants to feel like they're in prison everyday and everywhere they go. Campus is more than just class rooms, it's our home as well. We live here and want to feel safe and relaxed. One of the nice things about being on campus is that you feel safe and somewhat sheltered from the crazy world around you. Except when the killer is a student like you, that lives next door to you, and sits in the class next to you, how can you protect yourself? They have access to every place you do. How can you tell when someone will snap and start killing. Guns are legal and easily accessible, it’s not exactly hard if someone wanted to kill. No one is safe from something like that. There's no reason that it couldn't have been someone on any other campus, in any other dorm or any other classroom, which snapped and took revenge against the world.

I can’t even begin to imagine what the students at Virginia tech are going through, it’s bad enough here at Tulane, it must be crazy over there right now. We had a moment of silence for everyone at VT at the beginning of our classes today and you could have cut the tension / fear / sadness / anger with a knife.

So much more than lives were lost yesterday. Families were torn apart, hearts were broken, and dreams were crushed. Those students were at university trying to create a future for themselves, and with absolutely no warning that future was stolen from them.

It really sucks that it takes a life to be lost for people to realise how precious and fragile life really is. Life needs to be lived to the fullest and stretched to the extreme, but at the same time it should be treasured like no other, because it could all fall apart in the blink of an eye. You never know when it could all end. The VT students had no warning, no chance to defend themselves. They so randomly and unfairly had their lives taken from them. No chance to call their families and loved ones, no chance to make right any beefs they may have been having with people. The last goodbye is never enough and there's always an apology, appreciation or I love you that goes unsaid. I can’t help but wonder who spoke to their parents the night before and didn’t end the conversation on good terms and thought they'd just speak to them the next day. How many of them left in a hurry yesterday morning and didn’t take the time to say goodbye to their loves.

Not sure what the point of this post is. I just think this is really crap. People shouldn’t have to live in fear like this. I’ve been listening to the new Hillsong CD heaps and this song keeps getting stuck in my head…

God be the solution, we will be Your hands, and be Your feet. Set the captives free. Only You can mend the broken heart and cause the blind to see. You raise complete the sinners path and set the captives free. Only You can take the widow’s cry and cause her heart to sing. Be the Father to the fatherless. Our Saviour and our King. We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet. We will run this race, we release our fears. In the darkest place, we will be Your light. We will be Your hands and be Your feet. We will run this race, we released our fears. In the darkest place, we will be your light.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand how and why things like this happen but I guess all we can do is pray that God be the solution.

Love x